Vacation

We have spent our vacation at a beautiful lake front cottage. It’s just a gorgeous spot with a delightful, cozy and charming cottage. In fact, of all the cottages we’ve rented since my parents sold theirs, this one has been the nicest for the kids. Beautiful sandy beach, shallow water so the little ones can play and one of the most beautiful views I’ve ever seen on any of the lakes we’ve stayed on.

Unfortunately, our vacation started out bumpy. My mother, who is in her later 70’s, while entering the cottage, fell off the very uneven cement steps. Fortunately, she landed on me.

Her bad hip, which is touchy anyway, is the one she landed on. It is swollen and bruised. My mother is the most stubborn woman I’ve ever met. I suggested we go to the hospital for an x-ray, because breaking a hip was a real possibility with this fall. She said, “No. I’m just embarrassed, I don’t need to make it worse by going to a hospital…” Well, alright then.

My future daughter-in-law, an EMT came up to the cottage two days later and told her she could have a broken hip and still be able to walk. (Which I mentioned several times, by the way…) Then Mom says “Maybe I’ll have to have this checked out when we get home. I didn’t know you could walk with a broken hip…”. Um, really? I mentioned I had told her that, multiple times, and mom said “Well, she’s an EMT.”

Mom listens to anyone but me. I give up.

Amilah was very constipated this week, so I helped her go potty. This is an unpleasant experience for everybody, but when babies are stopped up they hurt. Poor munchkin…

Our Leah was the only one to catch a fish! She was excited and we were excited for her! She spent every moment she could in the water. Leah also had fun playing board games at night with everybody. I think she enjoyed her vacation thoroughly.

Anthony did so many firsts this week, I am tearing up just writing about it. He was offered extra bacon at breakfast, which is his favorite food, and he gave it to my nephew, Troy. This is not something Anthony has ever done before. He also went in the water, often, and even got his face wet! Another first. He also saw a kid with a “Minecraft” image on his shirt and Anthony talked with him. Had an actual conversation Anthony initiated. He asked the boy what his favorite stuff(?) is on the game, and they talked together for quite awhile. It was heartwarming to see. And both Erin and I cried. We are so proud of our boy! He’s made huge progress just lately and we’re thrilled to see it.

Little Miss Amilah was a delight and a challenge. She has absolutely no fear! She’s a little fish and wanted to be in the water constantly. We worked on swimming and she has the idea, but has yet to understand she can’t breathe under water. We had some coughing every day, but she knows she has to kick her feet and move her arms. Getting that to happen at the same time was a bit difficult. But she was lots of fun and kept us on our toes. She made my dad’s day when she’d wake up and peek out of the crib, calling for Grampy.

As always, we ate very well. Erin and my mom had decided the menu and there was something for everybody. One night was spaghetti for our Leah, which is her favorite. Our problem was the oven was much hotter than it should have been. Some of the stuff I made did end up a bit overdone, which annoyed my mother no end. But I cannot be held responsible for an oven that is not the correct temperature.

The cottage was charming, but small. We have a large herd of people in our family so we had some creative sleeping arrangements. My niece and I shared a bed in one bedroom, Erin and the kids in one and my folks in the third. This left the larger main room. We had blow up mattresses, used the couch and the recliner. Kasey even slept in the hammock outside a couple nights…

Even though we were busy with the kids, I did work on the book. I finished the chapter I was working on when we left, wrote a second one and finished the study questions for each chapter which go with the book. I didn’t sleep well, so was up anyway. I worked at the table, in the dark, while everybody slept. Got a lot done. I was pretty happy with my progress.

While I was reluctant to go due to my health issues, I was able to hold off, or muscle through, most of it. I made every effort to appear perfectly healthy, never letting on I was struggling with anything. My parents have no idea how extensive my health stuff is, and I prefer to keep it that way. But it was a tremendous effort to make all the meals, take care of the kids so Erin (who has pericarditis) didn’t have to do as much, take care of my mom and pretend I felt just fine. I’m exhausted and need a vacation to recover from my vacation.

Struggles and Triumphs, Part 3

Part 2.

My significant challenge has been my lack of arting. Having my stuff packed up and in storage has really caused me some angst. Arting gives me something to distract me on bad days and is so much a part of who I am, the struggle is significant. I’m sure not having my treatments for the last several months hasn’t helped, but I really feel my lack of creating art has caused my mental and physical health to deteriorate.

Although I haven’t been getting-my-hands-dirty type of creating, I have been working on the Bible study/book for the last couple of months. I have thirteen finished chapters and began the fourteenth yesterday. And while this is a satisfying project, and I have my other historic fiction novel started and am in the character development stage, this isn’t the same as getting messy.

Since the house plan we’re thinking about is approximately a third of the size of our current house, without my studio included in this as it won’t be living space, we’ve been seriously downsizing our stuff. I find it surprising the less we have, the more freeing it feels to me. I don’t expect Scott to reduce his tools or anything like that, as I didn’t further reduce my art stuff after that whole Konmari thing I did two(?) years ago. That greatly reduced my supplies and what I kept, I use. His tools are what he uses all the time, so I don’t want him to get rid of those.

At this point, I’d really like to pack up a trailer full of stuff and donate it all. Just to get it out of here. Sometimes I feel like I’m mentally weighed down by the amount of “stuff” we have. Even after all we have already purged. Stuff which just is. Enough already, let’s just donate it all…

Chewy has been such a blessing! He has become my service dog, as he can sense when I’m going to have a problem. Chewy will bug me until I show him I’m taking a pill and then I lay down with my oxygen. When I’m pushing myself to far, he absolutely loses it. He will dance around my feet, whine, bark and generally make himself an utter nuisance. But once I do what I’m supposed to do, he calms right down.

I also call Laurie if I’m having a really bad day. She is the best medication I’ve ever had. For some reason, I improve within minutes of seeing her. And within minutes of separating, I go down hill…But because Scott worries about me being on my own while he’s at work, both Laurie and Chewy have been God-sends for me. Chewy also calms almost immediately when either Laurie or Scott gets here. He’ll alert Scott if I’m going to have a problem and he’s downstairs or busy with something.

Given Chewy has absolutely no training in being a service dog, I find this really amazing. And, from what I understand, actually training dogs to recognize neurological problems is difficult. Not all dogs are able to do it. I’m going to have to take him to doggy training school (or figure it out myself) so he doesn’t bark or misbehave while traveling. He’ll need to be registered as a service dog too, so he can come with me wherever I need to go in AZ. Which requires specialty training. My cousin trains service animals, so I need to give her a call to see exactly what I need to do.

Struggles and Triumphs, Part 2

Here is Part 1.

We now have all new kitchen appliances! Our stove quit working and Scott ordered the new fridge and stove! I was so surprised! It really makes the kitchen look better to have all matching appliances. In fact, we’ve had two friends stop by recently-remember that whole Covid thing?-and they were both stunned by the changes we’ve made. Each said they could not believe how much larger it looks without those overhead cupboards. I knew those had to go. I’m so glad Scott agreed to do that for us.

Part of the frustration I’m having is houses are selling like hot cakes right now and for an astronomical amount for actual “fixer uppers”. Ours is nearly finished, which will make it turn-key ready. Our hope is we can get it finished before we miss this tremendous selling opportunity.

The goats have been an additional struggle this year. While they are friendly and very much pets, they are escape artists and really like my landscaping. Here I’ve been blaming all the bunnies for the destruction when, in fact, it’s been the goats. They destroyed a tree in the front “island” flower bed. The bed we put the white fence in for the roses to climb on. Oh, and the roses are toast too.

But, the truth is, our place has never looked better. Not even when it was brand new. The lawn is lush and green, the perennials-those not eaten by the goats-are growing like crazy! I have hydrangeas on four of the five transplants, which I took from my one-very large-hydrangea, in the front beds. The hostas have gone nuts and the annuals look pretty good too. I’m so glad we decided to fill all the beds and the circles around the base of the trees with wood chips. It just looks so well maintained and lovely. I can’t believe the difference wood chips makes to the look of the whole place.

While we are still hoping to move to Arizona, the reality is this process has taken way to long for me to feel this is what God wants for us. If it was His plan, we’d have been out of here by now. So I’m struggling with understanding His plan for our lives. Scott has a job which, in theory, should provide us with medical insurance. This should have been in effect the first of the month, yet here we are without any information or paperwork about the insurance coverage. In fact, I was forced to reschedule a treatment and a couple necessary medical tests due to the lack of medical coverage. The company told Scott, “Well, you’re eligible!”, when he asked for the paperwork and information about the coverage. I’m not sure what the hold-up is, but it’s really frustrating for me. The company told us to go ahead and seek whatever medical care we need and they’d reimburse us.

Um, yeah, NO. That’s the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard. Seek treatment and trust these people will pay for it? Not happening. And if we don’t get some answers right quick here, I’m going to lose it all over these jerks. I’m starting to become desperate. Or, at the very least, pretty edgy.

We have been considering a fifth wheel RV for our temporary housing option. There are a couple issues with that. First we need a much larger truck to haul it around. Second, there are very few sites available for parking the rig. Camp grounds are currently overflowing with R.V’ers. This is, apparently, a huge new trend. The cost of camping/lots has increased in price up to 200% since Covid, so this is not the most inexpensive option for cheap housing anymore.

Since we are hoping to move to Arizona, the weather fluctuations can be handled by two AC units and ceramic heaters or a small space heater, if those aren’t in the rig we buy. If we found an older one and remodeled it, we’d add AC, in addition to an actual furnace. We would purchase a solar generator for the R.V. as well.

However, after considering the cost of the rig and the truck to haul it, we’re back to renting an apartment or house at first. This would save us a tremendous amount up front, there are short term housing rentals in Huachuca City, which is a military town. They are used to people moving in for a few weeks to several months. They don’t have long term leases, which would be great for us. If we find suitable land on which to build, we’d likely put the barn up and finish the guest house first. Then we’d live in there while finishing the main house. (Remember, we plan to build/finish the house ourselves…)

Since I’m, at heart, a minimalist, we’re planning to get rid of most everything we have before we move. The only things I have an abundance of is art supplies and jewelry. My supplies are already stored and my jewelry won’t take much room. So most of our stuff will go, other than day to day essentials. We may be able to rent a furnished place in AZ. This would allow us to furnish the new house with whatever we want, and save tremendous amounts on moving expenses.

Struggles and Triumphs, Part 1

Well, it’s been awhile since I’ve posted. Here’s an update on our life in the last several months:

Scott’s job for the last 15 years was eliminated in January. He continued to work for the company until the middle of March, as they transitioned from having their own trucking company to becoming strictly a warehousing company. They sold all their trucks and then leased those same trucks back from the company they sold them to. Yes, this made no sense to us either. But the decision was made and we had three days to figure something out. (We didn’t know he’d be able to remain employed with them during their transition, and this was a huge answer to prayer.)

He found another job immediately, which was a lovely company run by a very sweet family. Unfortunately, whether through a lack of understanding or a lack of money, this company had some issues. One was a glaring safety violation, which Scott-being a safety director-could not ignore. While he felt badly about it, he couldn’t in good conscience remain with that company. He, obviously, told them about this particular safety violation and the possibility of tremendous fines (enough to bankrupt the company) because of it. He did not turn them in or mention it to any agency which would investigate, he just told the owners as an FYI thing. They accepted this information well but truly regretted Scott leaving them. They assured him he would always have a job with them if he wants it.

So he went back to a company he worked for twenty five years earlier. That was a transitional time in our marriage, as he’d been an over-the-road truck driver since the beginning of our marriage, which was 10 years or so at that point. But with several little kids, and our youngest with severe asthma who seemed to spend more time in the hospital than out of it, we decided Scott really needed to spend more time at home with me and the kids. I think it’s rather astonishing our roller coaster ride of life has brought us back to this place at this point in our life.

The truth is, this is a very physically taxing job and he’s 25 years older than he was the last time he worked there. Surprisingly enough, 25 years actually does make a difference in your strength and stamina.

Who knew?

Scott’s mom moved into an assisted living facility. She has her own apartment, but does not have to cook, do her laundry, or clean her studio apartment. She’s got nursing staff available, and they give her the medications she takes every day. We’re paying her bills, Scott’s sister is in charge of her medical needs, and the two middle kids fill in by taking her to her medical visits, shopping and to church. This has been a fairly seamless transition and we’re very thankful for that.

The house remodel ground to a halt and then we added the stress of having to empty the back garage of my mother-in-law’s house. This was built originally by my father-in-law for Scott. Since we live an eighth of a mile down the road, he just continued to use the garage. Once my mother-in-law moved into the studio apartment, the family decided the house would be sold to my nephew. We were not included in the conversations nor the decision to do so. So one evening we received a phone call from my brother-in-law telling us we had 30 days to empty the garage…

Well, Scott has all his tools, his work-in-progress trucks, sheet metal, spare parts, large garage tools which weigh tons and take up huge amounts of space in there. And we have no where to go with any of it.

After further discussion, it seems we have two months following the sale of the house, which has not yet taken place. It looks like that will be 4 to 6 weeks from now, with the two months included in the contract. We will have to buy a trailer for storing his tools, I’m guessing. So far he’s dragged 1500 dollars worth of scrap metal away, with much more to go.

Because of this new stress of clearing out the garage, and with Scott working 80 or so hours a week (it’s crazy! The company couldn’t do anything during Covid, so now they’re having to make up for last years stuff in addition to this years orders.) we’re stalled on the house.

We just began working on Anthony’s old room. With that one started, it leaves only our bedroom left upstairs. Then we have some simple-to-do updates in the basement. If we could just get to it, it really wouldn’t take long. I gave Scott a deadline of September, as I am at the end of my rope with my health problems.

In fact, I’m hanging on by a thread which is unraveling. to be perfectly honest.

Because Scott lost his job, he lost his insurance too. This means I haven’t been able to have any of my treatments. Whether my decline is due to that or simply because of the extreme weather changes which radically impact certain parts of my condition, I don’t know. But it seems my health has declined noticeably since I haven’t been having my treatments.

The amazing thing which we discovered just before Scott lost his insurance coverage was a combination of two very strong medications for severe nausea and vomiting. The combination of a suppository and an injection have truly been a God send. Seriously. Absolutely life changing for me.